A Night Out with Jeff Morr

Whenever I'm on Plum TV's morning show Jeff Morr and I always say We've Got to do Dinner, When are we doing dinner, You and I have to do dinner. So we finally got together recently and in a Beijing-y mood we chose Miss Yip's Olympics Menu for feasting. And yes, it was a feast. Be prepared to eat. The menu is for 4 but there was more than enough food and plenty of variety. Dinner starts with egg rolls and a dim sum sampler with about 8 buns (a mixture of vegetable, shrimp and pork). Next come the 5 mains which included mu shu chicken, Mongolian beef, Peking shrimp, bok choy and black bean fish. Oh, and lo mein.

Joining us that evening was his cousin Inbar, visiting from Israel and apparently a great cook in his own right. In between bites of spicy Sichuan fish and crisp bock choy we talked restaurants, restaurants, restaurants. Jeff Morr loves food and he loves to check out restaurants. He's known as a real estate developer (Majestic Properties ring a bell?) but his passion is talk television. "I want to be the next Oprah." In addition to his hosting duties on DayBreak he hopes to launch a real estate talk show on Plum, a topic Miamians can talk about endlessly.

So what did I learn that evening? He eats at Icebox everyday. He loves Kris Wessel's Red Light and had the best steak of his life at Kobe Club. His fave Miami spot is Francesco's in the Gables for amazing Peruvian eats. "Order the ceviche sampler, the lomo saltado and ask for Peirro. He's the best waiter." Casa Toscana is a MUST for anyone who loves food. "She has this homemade pear and ricotta tortellini that is amazing." Cote Gourmet in Miami Shores has fantastic French food - "the pea soup, a beautiful chicken salad and the most incredible chocolate wafer dessert."
And twice daily he drinks a concoction of 1 tsp. organic apple cider vinegar mixed with 1/2 cup water (or orange juice) that is apparently invigorating and cleansing. By the time dessert rolled around (two huge bowls of lychees and fortune cookies) we had talked travel (Mexico, Poland, Australia), discussed the pros and cons of the iPhone vs. the blackberry (Me: I think I need a big screen. Jeff: The blackberry is like a Mercedes; it just works. The iPhone is like a Maserati, too much flash.) and pondered America's economic future. As Michael Phelps's image beamed down on us from the restaurant's big screen TV (tuned to the Olympics, of course) winning yet another gold medal, we made our way into the sultry Miami night, full of great Chinese food and lots to think about.

Style Wars @ Pangea

I usually don't recommend going to Broward (unless you're jonesing for a burger at Le Tub) but this event looks kinda cool. And 2 hours of free Bacardi never hurt anyone except your liver, and really, what has your liver done for you lately?

Amstel Party @ Hotel Victor

What, praytell, are Dutch hors d'ouevres?

Cita's Italian Chophouse, Coconut Grove

We dined at Cita's on a busy Saturday night recently. After parking in the headache that is CocoWalk and weaving our way through ridiculously loud R&B music at Fat Tuesdays we made our way to this idyllic spot. The indoor dining room was packed with Coconut Grovers supping on steaks, pastas and massive lobsters. The flatscreen TV above the bar beamed footage of Pavarotti (RIP) in all his tenor splendor. It was a night for Italian Food.
We sad outside in the lush patio. It was hot, yes, but there were plenty of fans and greenery to cool things down. Dinner started with a puffy brioche dusted with parmesean cheese, an orginal touch. We segued into the burrata mozzarella, a fine salad but it could have used a bit of sea salt.

We also tried the trio of fish carpacci consisting of smoked salmon, tuna and swordfish. All very, very smoky with the salmon being the best. The tuna was overpowered by the smoky factor. The orange slices nicely offset the smokiness in the dish.

Our mains consisted of the 12 oz. filet and the pan-seared yellowfin with ratatouille and grilled artichokes. The steak was cooked to order but its presentation could have used some more, well, pizazz. The beef's only companion was a roasted garlic bulb. The tuna was a generous portion and the artichokes had a nice char to them. The only puzzling thing about the dish was that the ratatouille was cold, which seemed odd.

Dessert was lovely - a deconstructed tiramisu served in a martini glass with rich mascarpone cheese topped with lovely chocolate flakes. There were spoon fights over that one.

Little Jackie @ The Florida Room

What To Drink When Olympicizing?

Need a little something to get you going during those marathon Olympics-watching stretches? This fruity drink ought to do it. The “Five Rings Over Beijing” was created by Tina Lea Madden, Lead Bartender, and Charlie Zha, Director of Food and Beverage (and China native), at The Ritz-Carlton, Key Biscayne and will be served at the resort’s Dune Oceanfront Burger Lounge during August and September.

It is made from five ingredients representing the five Olympic rings - the core ingredient being plum, a prevalent fruit in Chinese history and cuisine. The concoction is then topped with Camitz sparkling vodka… world records and medal ceremonies call for celebratory bubbles, of course…

Five Rings over Beijing
1/4 oz Skky Vodka
1/8 oz Chambord
1/4 oz Plum Puree
1/8 oz Sweet Cherry Juice
3 oz Apple Juice

Shake and serve over ice or strained into a martini glass
Top off with Camitz sparkling vodka
A stack of five frozen cherries (mimicking the popular Chinese treat of candied plums) is the recommended garnish

When Did New York Get So Kawaii?

Another detour from our regularly scheduled Miami programming as I share highlights from my recent New York trip.

The BAMN! automat food vending machine on St. Marks Place. It evoked two things for me: 1950's Americana pharmacy dining and contemporary Asian vending machines where you can purchase everything from beer to condoms. The offerings were creative -shepherd's pie, faux chicken sandwiches from Red Bamboo, grilled cheese, bbq chicken paninis. Everything was $1-$3, impressively cheap.

Another observation - the general Asia-fication of New York. From popular Japanese retailer Uniqlo (they of the $40 cashmere sweater) and Muji (which I love with my minimalist-obsessed heart) to the restaurants like the Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, and the dozens of Izakayas that line St. Marks, it feels as though a large portion of Tokyo's hipsters have relocated to the area around NYU and the East Village. I enjoyed shopping at Uniqlo, below, with its overwhelming selection of T-shirts and nondescript preppy staples like polo shirts and button-downs.


Now, if only we could purchase cashmere sweaters from vending machines...

Crashing a NonSociety Party

Loyal Miami readers, bear with me on this post as we venture to the hinterlands a bit.

I’m in New York this week in honor of my nifty new job. Among the many fantabulous things I’ve done while here, nothing can quite compare to my experience last night being an extra on a pilot for a reality TV show. The show in question is called “NonSociety” and stars New York media beast Julia Allison. Dear Miami readers you probably have no idea who Julia Allison is, and you’re all probably reading this as you sit by a pool sipping mojitos. If you care you can immerse yourself in this Gawker vortex and satiate your curiosity. Either way, continue sipping your mojitos.

Back to the party.

On hand: free Pink Vodka-infused Nonsociety-tinis (I wish I was making this up), free food and a fabulous setting so naturally I settled in for a long night. The “set” was a glitzy apartment atop Bergdorf’s where the artwork consisted of LCD screens displaying a rotation of the Greatest Hits in Art including Starry Night, Girl with a Pearl Earring and whatever other paintings you’d normally see in a college dorm room. The classiness didn’t end there.



How to describe the crowd? Blow-dried blondes in cocktail dresses. Blow-dried brunettes in cocktail dresses. It reminded me of Dallas and I’ve never been to Dallas. No music; the atmosphere was a tad awkward. Free drinks and free food is usually how I roll in Miami and at those events there are at least a couple drag queens, half a dozen women with bad botox and sexy Latin men. Now THAT’S a crowd worth filming. Give me this event or this one any day over this sterile over-lipsticked hoi polloi. Also, the ratio of men to women was roughly 1 to 17. The party dynamic was such that at any point the camera crews would be filming the crowd or Julia or not at all. It was sort of like roving cameras a la Hugh Hefner’s Playboy After Dark. But alas, no witty banter and no Sammy Davis Jr.

The highlights? Well, Julia’s dog is friggin adorable and the embodiment of everything that is pure and good in the universe. At a certain point in the evening she fed the dog a few rounds of salami and that was fun. The view from the balcony was also quite magical. Definitely Carrie Bradshaw-worthy. I drank a reality show’s budget worth of wine and chatted with my friends. I debated pulling a faux fainting stunt in an effort to inject some drama into the proceedings but decided a lifetime of Julia Allison resentment was too high a price to pay for a few minutes of entertainment. I left tipsy and with a full belly so I hereby knight the evening a success.

Thanks Bravo, you've just made the world a less interesting place.

Introducing UrbanDaddy Miami

Hey Friends,

Wanted to update you on some exciting news. I have signed on as Miami Editor of UrbanDaddy, the daily email lifestyle and entertainment guide specifically geared toward men. It’s already hugely influential in New York, and editions in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and San Francisco, where it recently launched, are quickly making a mark.

Now it’s Miami’s turn.

I will be covering everything from the newest restaurants, bars, clubs and lounges to the latest men’s boutiques, must-have personal electronics or anything else we think a guy in this city needs to know about.

Subscription is by invitation (we're very fancy shmancy) so drop me a comment here with your email address - or email me at sara at allpurposedark dot com and I'll put you on the list.

Get Elevated @ Level 25 at the Conrad

Friday nights at Level 25 at the Conrad just got a lot more attractive. True, we were always fans of the million-dollar views, the $6 cocktails and the gratis appetizers but combine that with the turntable wizardry of DJ Induce, and you've got a bona fide par-tay!

Burn Notice Party Tonight

Let the Dim Sum Debate Commence!

Looking for authentic Chinese eats? Check out my cover story in the Herald Food section on some good finds. And before you start bombarding me with comments about Tropical Chinese and how awesome it is, let me just say I know and I felt it was important to highlight other places.

Plus, I happen to like South Garden better and I wrote the article. So there!

Optic Nerve @ MOCA

Discover the next Brett Ratner Thursday when MOCA hosts Optic Nerve, the popular festival featuring short films and videos by some of the freshest and innovative artists in South Florida. Aug. 7, 7PM and 9PM, $5. Museum of Contemporary Art, 770 N.E. 125th St., North Miami, 305.893.6211.

Little Jackie @ The Florida Room

The Florida Room and Giant Step Records have recently debuted a new partnership where, once a month, The Florida Room will play host to one of Giants Step's upcoming artists. Past artists include Janelle Monae, Jose James & Alice Russell. On August 14th Little Jackie will be taking the stage. The concert starts at 10pm.

Olympics Feasting

A Standard Debate

Seems that our little post about getting fleeced at the Standard is generating quite the discussion over at talknightlife. 28 posts and still going.
Sure, it's a dollar, and yes life is too short to argue about these things but the principle of the thing really touches on something people despise about South Beach: blatantly crappy service.
And yeah, that $1 totally salted our game.

R.I.P. Maison, Vita, Touch

No more overpriced Dover Sole for you; Maison D'Azur has closed. Vita is kaput and Touch is gone, baby, gone. But fret not, Touch chef Sean Brasel is opening Meat Market on Lincoln Road this fall.

Happy Hour @ View Bar

Friday night found me sipping champagne at the View Bar's new weekly cocktail party. This being the Regent, and this being Bal Harbour the nibblings were tip top: ceramic spoons of tuna tartar, polenta topped with onions and blue cheese, cucumber rounds with smoked salmon.

We were worlds away from Shuckers (oh but I do love Shuckers, it's just that sometime you want to get all swanked out). And from 6pm-8pm the champagne is complimentary. And this being the Regent and this being Bal Harbour they put out the good stuff (Piper-Heidsieck to be sure). And the crowd was quite impressive, lots of young vivacious things representing the "new" Bal Harbour. You've heard of them, right? They don't have old money but lots and lots of new money? That's a good crowd. They like their bars with a view and a live DJ and thankfully this one has both.
So where will you be Friday night?

RA Sushi Grand Opening

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Miami.com wants to hear from you, people. Consider it your personal megaphone.
Get to it!

B.F.F. Spa Night at Willow Stream

Movies in the Park

A picnic, a blanket and a screen under the stars: the outdoor movie is my fave summer staple. Grab some friends and head to the beach for an outdoor screening of Roman Holiday. The 1953 classic stars Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in a saucy Euro-themed romance. And it's free! Aug. 6, 6PM. Lummus Park, Ocean Dr. between 8th and 9th Sts.

Nickel and Dimed: On Getting Fleeced at the Standard

Had a mixed experience at The Standard this weekend. It involved free yoga and overpriced beer. In this post guest blogger Rob Jordan tells the story.

The Standard Hotel on the Venetian Causeway usually sets itself apart from its haughty SoBe counterparts just over the bridge.

Sure it’s pricey and can lean pretentious with all its New Age spa mumbo jumbo, but it’s also the kind of place where rum-and-coke-toting guests pad around in hooded terry cloth robes and flip flops. Complimentary iced tea is on tap in the cool, quasi-Scandinavian lobby dotted with rocking chairs. Free community yoga classes are available to anyone through the end of August. It’s all a bit quirky, generally easy-going and welcoming – a world away from nose-in-the-air places like the Delano or the Shore Club.

So, my disappointment was acute when the Standard ripped me off SoBe-style this past Saturday.

A friend and I were enjoying the aquatic meat market that is the hotel’s pool on weekends: rippling abs, bare boobies, mojito-fueled frolicking. It called for a drink and a snack. Budget-minded, we decided to split a $7 Sierra Nevada and a $5 baba ghanoush appetizer. The hoppy beer was a perfect foil for the garlicky eggplant dip. All was well (although the beer – neatly divided into two cups – appeared on the anemic side of 12 ounces).

Then the check came.

The beer was tallied as $8. After I pointed out to the server that the listed price was $7, he said something about the menu being in need of an update but agreed to look into the discrepancy. A few minutes later, he returned. The beer was still down as $8, and the check total amounted to the same as before. “Sorry,” the server said hurriedly, “the menu is old.” He was gone before I could respond. My credit card had been processed for the full amount – plus an automatic 18% tip.

RA Sushi, South Miami

How about some rock n' roll with your sushi? At the new RA Sushi joint in South Miami an indie rock soundtrack and red lighting provides the backdrop to creative Asian fare like spicy sesame chicken wings and the Crazy Monkey roll, an unlikely combo of salmon, mango and cream cheese.
5829 SW 73rd St, South Miami; 305.341.0092

Lush in the MIA

Miami ups its luscious ante with the opening of Lush cosmetics emporium in the Aventura Mall. This cruelty-free suds-and-salve emporium, designed like a produce market, isn't your typical cosmetics store. Stacked around the bustling space, slabs of colorful, gelatinous cleansers and lotions are sliced, weighed and sent home, more like a gourmet cheese counter than an earth-conscious buyers' boutique. I especially love the Japanese Girl exfoliation bar.
19501 Biscayne Blvd.
Aventura
305.935.7022

PlumTV Time

My latest PlumTV appearance. Wherein Jeff Morr proposes to me, we discuss Endless Pours (which ends tonight so get over there if you haven't already!), some Miami Spice highlights and the new Cita's in the Grove. I also had WAY too much coffee before this one. But it was fun, as always. This will be the last one for a while as the show is on hiatus until October.

Friday Happy Hour @ The Tides

Hot Pot

So you want hot pot? Go to Peppers in Pembroke Pines. You heard me. Pembroke friggin Pines. WAY out there. But it's worth it.
For $20 a person you get a parade of raw ingredients to dip in steaming hot broth flecked with chilis, garlic and ginger. Thinly sliced lamb, crab legs, oysters, bok choy, sliced potatoes, fish, spinach, rice noodles, tofu skin. Plus a bevy of dipping sauces. The pot can be divided for vegetarians or for the less-spicyily inclined among us.
The last time I had hot pot I was in Beijing and the restaurant was crowded with hard-smoking Chinese workers shouting to each other over the steaming cauldrons at each table. Clean and bright it was not; discarded crab legs crunched beneath our feet when we walked in. It's also when I learned about hot-pot-in-the-eye. Put it this way, I don't advise peering into the pot when you drop in your ingredients. I spent half the dinner feeling like I got hit with pepper spray. But I kept going. And the tears came from the both the joy of the flavor explosions occurring and the possible corneal damage I had done.
But I digress. Back to Peppers.
If you go make sure to order off the Chinese menu, and there you'll find well-executed delicacies like garlic cucumber, beef with pickled peppers, stir-fried eggplant in a sweet garlic sauce and ma po fish, redolent with Sichuan peppercorns, black beans and chili oil.

9976 Pines Blvd. (954) 437-7738

Guilty Pleasures @ Aerobar

Get a jump on your weekend with Thursday night's Guilty Pleasures party at Aero Bar. The new airplane-themed club has a Jetsons feel with lounges that evoke a jetway heading to a futuristic airport hub. Two rooms--one with a clear soundproof wall with views of the neighboring lounge--offer plenty of music options for picky club-goers. Resident DJ Ross One spins an eclectic mix of house and rock that fuels the unpretentiously cool crowd. Thurs., 11PM. RSVP online.
247 23rd St.
South Beach
305.674.1110

Get Primed for Ocean Prime

Ocean Prime is opening at the Aventura Mall August 9. The owners are calling it a "modern American supper club." It may sounds like a steakhouse but a quick perusal of the menu of Mitchell's Ocean Club (on which this restaurant will be based) yields some tasty seafood finds. Look forward to: Chilean Sea Bass with Glazed Carrots in a Champagne Truffle Sauce and White Truffle Caviar Deviled Eggs.
Sounds pretty sophisticated for the 'Tura, a place that holds the world record for longest Cheesecake Factory waits.

Miami.com Set to Party @ SET

RSVP to this shindig here.

Wino Chronicles

Drink up, people! It's summer for chrissakes!

Chinese Food Lackage

The general consensus amongst food people is that Miami doesn't have great Chinese. I'm on a hunt to see if that is true. Compared to New York, San Francisco or Boston, Miami has got no real Chinatown and options are limited. I'm still on the lookout for the following specialties:
- authentic dan dan noodles (noodles and bok choy come piled atop a fiery mixture of chilis, garlic and ground meat)
- Chinese Muslim-style restaurants that don't carry pork and do lots of interesting things with eggs, noodles and tomatoes (I found lots of these in Beijing)
- breakfast crepes (called Jian Bing) stuffed with cilantro, egg and spicy plum sauce made by street food vendors
- crispy sesame griddle cakes
- let's not even get started on authentic Yunan dishes ("crossing the bridge" noodles) or Fujian dumplings.

Sigh. A girl can dream.

South Garden Dim Sum

It's China Week here at All Purpose Dark.
I'm researching a Chinese food piece, so look forward to some updates. Plus, all the pre-Olympics hype has got me missing China. Haven't been there since October and was jonesing for some dim sum and crazy eats. So I recruited Ross, an adventurous eater who possesses an open mind and even more accommodating stomach and we set out for the South Miami strip mall where South Garden works its dumpling magic. They do trolley service on the weekends and the place was packed with Chinese families. I like to know what I'm getting at these places and luckily most of the cart gals spoke English but there were a few mix-ups (tripe soup I'm looking at you) but it was an otherwise enjoyable feast. We got shrimp-stuffed eggplant, fluffy pork buns, stuffed bean curd, fish balls (eerily similar to gefilte fish), gelatinous rice pancakes wrapped around fried dough (loved the melding of textures there), fried sesame balls, fried turnip cake and fried bean curd stuffed with vegetables - the last one being best in show. Each plate is $2-$4 making for a wonderfully cheap and fun weekend breakfast.

South Garden, 10855 SW 72nd St.
(305) 274-8788

Tea Time @ 1 Bleu

The Regent Bal Harbour's posh 1 Bleu restaurant invited guests to fall down the rabbit's hole for a good cause at a Mad Hatters Tea Party. Miami socialites donned elaborate and striking headgear and gathered at the glossy new hotel for a benefit to raise money for Dress for Success, an organization that promotes economic independence for disadvantaged men and women.
Exec chef Gerdy Rodriguez put out quite a spread and everything from the dainty menus to the delicate tea sandwiches felt downright classy.

Each table was adorned with three-tiered trays of tea sandwiches including classic egg salad, cucumber with chive scented cream cheese, black current tea smoked chicken salad and the creative goat cheese and mascarpone fig and honey. I chowed on the fresh-baked scones with fixings like lemon curd and jam like a Buckingham-bred Brit. Four different types of tea were available including my fave imperial earl gray, colonialist that I am.
And the desserts, oh the desserts!

Chocolate-covered strawberries, French macaroons, coconut cupcakes, fruit tarts and something my table mate pronounced "a twinkie on acid." That about sums it up. That, and gold-flecked bon-bons. This is Bal Harbour DARRR-ling.

Happy Hour @ Joley

Joley's summer happy hour is a full-fledged five-day a week mini-party. Kick back at the pseudo-speakeasy Hotel Astor bar as nattily-attired mixologists whip up two-for-one inventive cocktails like pomegranate and acai-tinis while you graze on gratis grub like truffle fries and meatballs. Then you can do it again tomorrow. Weekdays, 5PM-8PM. 956 Washington Ave., South Beach, 305.534.3343.

Le Boudoir

Addicted to the pastries at Le Boudoir but too lazy to schlep to Coral Gables? Fret not, an outpost of the groovy haute bistro has opened in the Brickell 'hood. Stop in for Parisian country bread, feather-lite macaroons and delicately composed sandwiches at this new downtown spot. Nightly prix-fixe dinner menus are an added bonus at this locale.
186 SE 12th Terrace, Downtown. 305.372.2333.

Free Sundays @ Vizcaya

Looking for a little budget-friendly romance? Head to the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens for the estate's summer "no charge" Sunday and get lost in the gilded age glory of this supersized home. Take a stroll in its sprawling garden and admire the over-the-top Italian Renaissance architecture. One can never get enough of that over-the-top breakfast room!
July 27, 9:30AM-4:30PM. 3251 South Miami Ave., Coconut Grove, 305.806.8445.

Taste of the Nation, Miami

Oh Taste of the Nation, how my belly loves thee! This is one of the better food events in Miami. It gives food geeks a chance to meet local culinary talent while simultaneously eating and drinking to gustatory oblivion. Usually the chefs have their A-game on for the fundraiser, with each restaurant eager to impress the crowd and see which booth garners the longest lines and most attention. Celebrity chefs were in the house: a cherubic Allen Susser was a genial host, Cindy Hutson rocked her bandanna and Michael Schwartz held court at his predictably popular table. At these events you also get a lot of duplicate dishes going on and this year the theme of the night was beef. Lots of rare, raw, seared, braised, grilled red meat. Whereas last year's was all about the tuna - seared tuna, tuna tartar, tuna ceviche, tuna sashimi (by the end of the night you were pumped so full of mercury you set off the metal detectors) this year it was all about the Kobe.

The Ritz Key Biscayne's Dune Burger Lounge was proffering lovely kobe sliders topped with gorgonzola, Kobe Club seduced passers-by with beef cheek ravioli and Tuscan Steak had luscious steak tartar presented in porcelain spoons.

Touch chef Sean Brasel was hyping his new Lincoln Road venture Meat Market with marinated kobe skirt steak with aji panca chimmichurri. The spot is set to open in the Fall and if this dish is any indication of what we can expect, it will be a sufficiently creative spin on steakhouse fare. It will also be quite popular as food fiends snapped up the slices of perfectly cooked steak.

The Oceanaire Seafood Room's massive ice sculpture raw bar was a predictable hit. Who would turn down fresh shucked oysters?

Best in show was the Setai's cured salmon with lemongrass foam and chili-flecked eggplant. A nice melding of textures and flavors and a beautiful piece of silky fish.

Also quite nice was Blue Door at the Delano's duck and shiitake mushrooms. It was practically the only duck dish of the night and a welcome red meat respite.

Cinebistro: It's Shiny! It's Pricey!

Checked out the new Cinebistro at the Dolphin Mall recently for this piece and was quite impressed. Sure, it's WAY out west. We're talking edge of the Everglades west. You go through seven toll plazas west. Like, I felt I was in another country west. (Is my beach-centric side rearing it's tanned head here?) But if you make an experience of it and slap on a few mall-based errands it's not so bad. And once you settle into those massive leather seats and crack open a bottle of Goats Do Roam wine (about $20) you start thinking, this is absolute genius. The ticket price is a bit steep - $15 on the weekdays and $17 on the weekends but you do get free valet (you're at the mall so that's not such a perk) and the ability to choose your seats which is rather convenient if you're with a group of friends. The pseudo-swanky lounge designed with Philippe Starck furniture is every idea the French designer has ever had distilled to suburban-friendly proportions. Dangling glass chandeliers, gilded framed mirrors hanging precariously from the ceiling, white curtains flowing. Needless to say, the folks at the Dolphin Mall were loving it.
And the food? For the most part it's fine. No culinary surprises here. Most of the menu is constructed such that the food is partially cooked or almost ready to go because it comes out within, oh, about 90 seconds of ordering it. Skip the mushroom starter-not worth $12. The skirt steak (below) was a nice dish, a generous portion and not bad for $17. The snapper was well-executed with nice hunks of banana but not worth $23. It's better to stick to the budget-priced items like the guacamole and veggie burrito. The one dessert we tried, the deconstructed key lime, was underwhelming. You're better off getting a Toblerone from the upscale concession stand.

All in all it's a fun movie-watching experience. There are no kids, everyone's a bit tipsy and every so often you'd hear plates crash to the floor as some clumsy theater patron fumbles with their tray table.

Pizza N' Porn

Here's a unique way to spend your Friday night: Upper East Side Garden's upstairs lounge hosts a Pizza Porn Party pairing pizza pies from Che Sopranos with cheesy 1950s naughty movies. Retro-liciously risqué, no? The $5 cover includes one Grolsch brewskie.
July 25, 7PM-12AM. 7244 Biscayne Blvd., Upper East Side, 305.984.3231.

Deli Democracy

The Daily Show visits with elderly South Florida Jews and hilarity ensues.

Tonight! Battle of the Bands at MOCA

Rock out with your art out tonight as MOCA hosts the second Battle of the Bands in conjunction with their music-themed Sympathy for the Devil exhibit. Local bands include Old Wives Tales, Psycho Daisies and Treasures. Bonus: complimentary Grolsch beer, VitaminEnergy bevvies and Dogma Grill hotdog vendors. $5. July 24, 8PM.
770 N.E. 125th St.
North Miami
305.893.6211

Endless Pours at Prime Blue Grille

If you love wine (you're reading this blog so you probably enjoy a quaff or eight) then you should, nay, you must get yourself to Prime Blue Grille next week. Starting Monday July 28-August 2 the swanky downtown steakhouse is celebrating their 1-year anniversary with bottomless pours of 10-12 wines during lunch and dinner. The best part? The wine is absolutely free. As in complimentary, gratis, de nada. As my dad would say - goose egg. Plus, the restaurant is currently offering what they dub a "Power" lunch and dinner menu that is very similar to a Miami Spice deal in that it is three courses priced at $23 for lunch and $36 for dinner. Menu options include filet mignon, halibut, skirt steak and pasta. Plus, the food at Prime Blue Grille is stellar. I had a chance to preview this bottomless pours phenomenon and I walked out of this waterfront restaurant completely stuffed and really, really happy. The meal starts with a sparkling white like a champagne or proseco, moves on to a couple of sauvignons and chardonnays, climaxes at 5 or 6 reds and winds down with a port or ice wine for dessert. Your table becomes an orgy of wine glasses and it's a beautiful thing.

The wines change each day and though the pours are about 2 oz. each, if you love what you're drinking the accommodating servers will graciously oblige your oenophile fantasies. Some of the wines tasted:
Fleur du Cap sauvignon blanc
Hugel pinot blanc
Hanzell chardonnay
Laetitia pinot noir
Chalk Hill merlot
Mollydooker shiraz
Groth cabernet
Paul Jaboulet muscat
Chateau des Charmes Paul Bosc riesling
So let's review:
3-course $23 lunch or $36 dinner + free-flowing wine= one ridonkulously good deal.

En Avance Placement

Design District divas, take note: Lincoln Road emporium En Avance has just opened an outpost over the causeway. Make room in your closets for ultra-femme European frocks from labels like La Petite Salope, Etro and Robert Rodriguez's new Black Label couture collection. Moving to the mainland hasn't cramped this boutique's beach style: they still stock light, barely-there dresses that are practically a uniform for every South Beach hardbody. 161 NE 40th St. Suite 101, Design District. 305.576.0056.

Thursdays @ Badrutt's Place

Happy hour gets downright giddy at "Thursday Champagne Night" parties at Badrutt's Place. The Brickell neighborhood spot treats the ladies to complimentary Champagne while flutes of Mumm Napa Rose go for just $9 for the gents. Live music from vocalist Christina Sichta adds to the linger-friendly vibe. Thursdays, 6:30PM-8PM. 1250 S. Miami Ave., Brickell, 305.415.0070.

Gift Bag Porn

Raina at the New Times blog has a great post on the contents of the Swim Week gift bag. If gift bags could talk this one would say something bitchy about your hair.

Fashion Week Miami: Epilogue

Now that Fashion Week has drawn to a close, it's time to reflect on the bikini bonanza. It's a challenge to collect my thoughts with all the vitamin energy drinks still running through my system, but I'll give it a try. (Also, Cafe Bustelo, you totally had me with the tequila-spiked ice coffee - watch out Dunkin Donuts!) So what have we learned?
1. I learned that people will do anything for gift bags. I also learned that people are willing to wait in line upwards of 45 minutes for free Brazilian flip-flops. I guess when you're downing multiple spiked Bustelo coffees, the time just sorta flies, right?

2. The Raleigh penthouse is a fabulous spot to hold a press conference. Christian Audigier, you are the definition of suave.

3. Sometimes a stationary fashion show is better than a runway show. Case in point - the La Perla "show" at the Gansevoort pool plaza. We arrived wondering if we'd missed the show only to find out, nope, those mannequins stationed inside the pool are the show. Brilliant! Take your time, grab a glass of champagne, pull up a cabana and peruse the swimwear at your own pace. So much better than those "live" models walking way too fast!

4. I also learned that there is a Miami party fixture named Shaggy Steve. And Shaggy Steve is everywhere. Let's call him S-squared.

He manages to be at every party you will ever attend and then some. His look can only be described as sorta like Robert Plant if he was from Long Island and never sexy. His fluffy curly fro is unmistakable. During events like Art Basel, Swim Week, Food and Wine fest, the Boat Show, etc. be prepared to see S-squared at approximately 42 events a night. In fact, it's possible that S-squared has cloned himself in an effort to cover more ground. If you see S-squared ask him for his card, it's the size of a 3" x 5" photograph. This man may possibly be the coolest person in Miami. You heard it here first.

Taste of the Nation, July 24

Name one night this week when you can taste dishes from top Miami restaurants like Bourbon Steak, Kobe Club and Sushi Samba Dromo? Thursday night, of course! Join hundreds of gourmands as they gather to sip and nosh at The Ritz-Carlton, Key Biscayne for the Taste of the Nation fundraiser. The ticket price snags unlimited bites from more than 30 local restaurants and a bevy of bevvies including wines and mixed drinks. July 24, 6PM-7PM VIP reception, 7PM-10PM grand tasting, $125, VIP $250.
The Ritz-Carlton, Key Biscayne
455 Grand Bay Dr.
Key Biscayne
1.877.26.TASTE (for tickets)

Backstage at Ed Hardy

Sometimes the rigors of my job require me to do strange things. Watching a make-up artist apply bronzer to a shirtless model before the Ed Hardy show is one example.

So-Mi Boutique

Miami fashion mavens have been raving about Aventura's new So-Mi boutique. It may be tucked inside a shopping center, but the ultra-femme frock emporium is anything but ordinary. A one-stop shop for glamazons, the store sells jewelry, flirty dresses from Tricia Fix, booty-hugging jeans from Hudson and James Jeans, Lisa Curran swimwear and Cosabella lingerie. The cozy décor of this space (a comfy couch, vintage mirrors and a plush rug) provide the perfect laid-back vibe for impromptu shopping sprees.
2775 NE 187th St., Suite 2, Aventura. 786.787.9087.

Celebrate Poplife Tonight!

Seems like only yesterday DJ wranglers Aramis Lorie and Barbara Basti started a recurring little-party-that-could, called it Poplife and brought stellar music to Miami's club world. Help celebrate the nine-year anniversary of this beat-loving duo's contribution to the music scene Saturday for a birthday blowout at the White Room. Local DJs Matt Cash and Induce will keep you moving until the featured performance by Brooklyn-based band Free Blood. July 19, 10PM, $15 in advance. 1306 N. Miami Ave. Downtown, 305.995.5050.