Crashing a NonSociety Party

Loyal Miami readers, bear with me on this post as we venture to the hinterlands a bit.

I’m in New York this week in honor of my nifty new job. Among the many fantabulous things I’ve done while here, nothing can quite compare to my experience last night being an extra on a pilot for a reality TV show. The show in question is called “NonSociety” and stars New York media beast Julia Allison. Dear Miami readers you probably have no idea who Julia Allison is, and you’re all probably reading this as you sit by a pool sipping mojitos. If you care you can immerse yourself in this Gawker vortex and satiate your curiosity. Either way, continue sipping your mojitos.

Back to the party.

On hand: free Pink Vodka-infused Nonsociety-tinis (I wish I was making this up), free food and a fabulous setting so naturally I settled in for a long night. The “set” was a glitzy apartment atop Bergdorf’s where the artwork consisted of LCD screens displaying a rotation of the Greatest Hits in Art including Starry Night, Girl with a Pearl Earring and whatever other paintings you’d normally see in a college dorm room. The classiness didn’t end there.



How to describe the crowd? Blow-dried blondes in cocktail dresses. Blow-dried brunettes in cocktail dresses. It reminded me of Dallas and I’ve never been to Dallas. No music; the atmosphere was a tad awkward. Free drinks and free food is usually how I roll in Miami and at those events there are at least a couple drag queens, half a dozen women with bad botox and sexy Latin men. Now THAT’S a crowd worth filming. Give me this event or this one any day over this sterile over-lipsticked hoi polloi. Also, the ratio of men to women was roughly 1 to 17. The party dynamic was such that at any point the camera crews would be filming the crowd or Julia or not at all. It was sort of like roving cameras a la Hugh Hefner’s Playboy After Dark. But alas, no witty banter and no Sammy Davis Jr.

The highlights? Well, Julia’s dog is friggin adorable and the embodiment of everything that is pure and good in the universe. At a certain point in the evening she fed the dog a few rounds of salami and that was fun. The view from the balcony was also quite magical. Definitely Carrie Bradshaw-worthy. I drank a reality show’s budget worth of wine and chatted with my friends. I debated pulling a faux fainting stunt in an effort to inject some drama into the proceedings but decided a lifetime of Julia Allison resentment was too high a price to pay for a few minutes of entertainment. I left tipsy and with a full belly so I hereby knight the evening a success.

Thanks Bravo, you've just made the world a less interesting place.