Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Spirituality ain't Cheap

Rumor has it that Esther, the artist formerly known as Madonna, will be in attendance at the Kabbalah Centre's annual Passover "Great Escape" at the Diplomat Hotel. At about $600/night (depending on which package you choose) it's a bargain for the chance to rub shoulders with Ms. Blonde Ambition at the 5,000-person communal Seder and optional pilates class. I found their description of the transformative power of Pesach really enticing:
Pesach is a 15-step procedure that unlocks the chains of this critical voice. Over the course of eight days, your actions on Pesach generate the raw energy needed to free yourself from your self-imposed prison. It means finally tasting life's true and lasting pleasures.
If that 15-step procedure invloves eating lots and lots of Kabbalah Matzah, "injected with 5,000 year-old kabbalistic meditations," then I am going to need a bag of Kabbalah prunes in order to free myself from that "self-imposed" prision. I also like how the first night's Seder is alotted about 4 hours - that sounds about right, after all, I'm sure Madge's rendition of "Dayenu" takes a good 20 min - and the second night, dinner and the seder are given a whopping hour. Guess that night they offer CliffsNotes version of self-fullfillmant via the Haggadah. Sign me up, Berg family, sign me up.

3 comments:

Simi said...

do you think they have kabbalah infused matzah brei? Really- who does this woman think she is? If I started going to St. Patrick's on all the Catholic holidays - would anybody care? No- they would say but she's Jewish. What is it about this woman celebrating our holidays that makes everyone nuts? BTW- they are selling Kabbalah water in my local Duane Reade- oy.

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