$11 million is the new $5 million

Fretting about astronomical South Florida real estate prices seems almost droll when considering the ridiculous McMansioning going on in the Gravesend neighborhood of Brooklyn where the Syrian Jewish community is outdoing itself in spending stupid money on tear-downs. Remember, this is Brooklyn, where the ghetto is always around the corner. The Syrian Jewish community is notorious for being insular and close-knit, but this article also points to another real estate trend, the proximity of an Orthodox synagogue and/or school near a neighborhood and its uncanny ability to jack up the prices.

"The location is the most important," said Marianne R. Sanua, an associate professor of history and Jewish studies at Florida Atlantic University, in Boca Raton, who grew up in Brooklyn in a half-Syrian Sephardic family. "They're willing to completely gut a house and rebuild it to the latest specifications rather than spend $5 million to buy a penthouse on the Upper East Side, which would mean nothing to them."

"It's very important for members of the community to live close to one another," she added. "They put tremendous emphasis on keeping their children in the community and having them socialize and marry within the community. Many parents will go to tremendous efforts to buy houses for their children. They will buy houses and give them as wedding gifts."

What, a little fine china and a fancy juicer isn't good enough for those Syrian kids? Sheesh.

Fri, Sat, Sun

Here's a tour through the cooky apartment of Amy Sedaris (brother of David and talent behind cult TV show "Strangers With Candy"). Predictably, her living space has all kinds of quirky items like fake foods on display and figurines of squirrels but the article also sheds light on her difficult past and that she's a real trooper. The film version of SWC comes out this week and if it is anything close to the cringe-genius comedy of the TV show, it will surely satisfy her legions of fans. If unfamiliar with the show, go out and rent the DVD, as it promises to make you laugh in the most uncomfortable and unexpected ways.

"Strangers With Candy" revolves around Ms. Sedaris's character Jerri Blank, which was inspired by a former substance abuser turned motivational speaker featured in a documentary Mr. Dinello found in a video store. "The film was terrible and preachy, and the woman looked like Michael Dukakis," Ms. Sedaris said. But it propelled her to start playing an overweight 46-year-old who decides to go back to high school after years spent as a drug addict and prostitute. "Strangers With Candy" is at once a wry and puerile comment on our cultural obsession with prolonged adolescence. In the film Jerri competes in a science fair in the hope that it will rouse her father out of a coma.

My favorite line from the show involves Jerri asking some popular girls what their plans are for the weekend and she phrases it something like "You doin' anything on Fri, Sat, Sun?" The social awkwardness contained in that line is brilliant.

Back in the USA

Bienvenidos a Miami.
Welcome back me.
In my absence accumulated 538 emails, unpaid bills, incredibly virile grass (which must be mowed this weekend, scorching heat be damned!), and 16 pounds of laundry.
Not 48 hours backs and one thing I am certain of: There is no charm, no nobility, in living in South Florida without central air conditioning. Case in point: I can grow a respectable crop of coffee beans in my living room that would make the mythical Juan Valdez quiver in his Columbian boots. Even the mini-lizards that find their way into the Wild Kingdom of a house I inhabit make their way to the quickest exit they can find preferring the sultry outdoor humidity to the stifling sweatbox I call mi casa. That's right, it's pretty friggin' hot in here.

Tel Aviv is Bauhaus-tastic

Two years ago the United Nations cultural agency UNESCO declared Tel Aviv a World Heritage site for its abundant examples of Bauhaus and International Style architecture. I still think of Tel Aviv as "crumble-ville" for its abundance of rotting, beach-weathered apartment buildings, but there are still graceful moments of architectural sublimity that occur when walking through its humid streets. It's not very clear what benefit the World Heritage designation has brought the cosmopolitan city, except for the proliferation of Bauhaus walking tours and perhaps attracting the occasional architecture nerd such as myself. Looking at this picture above, it looks a bit like San Francisco but the little pseudo-truck buggy car on the left is unmistakably Israeli.
Here's a nifty map and listings of more Bauhaus buildings in the city.

Jerusalem Celebrity Siting: Teddy Kollek

Location: Cafe Paradiso, 36 Keren Hayesod St.
Time:4pm
Sat adjacent to Teddy Kollek partaking of the business lunch special at Paradiso with his wife and filmmaker son Amos Kollek (I've only seen one of his films - "Fast Food, Fast Women" and couldn't help thinking how much he was trying to emulate Woody Allen in what was ultimately a lighthearted and not a neurotic enough movie to merit that association. The plot, though, about a guy who yearns to open a restaurant that charges people according to how long they sit, not what they order, was endearing.) But I digress, back to the details.

Conversation veered towards talk of Amos's horse who apparently is a stubborn thing and refuses to enter it's stable, plans for possibly taking a family trip down to the Dead Sea for the weekend (Teddy was interested in a Jeep tour possibility), and Amos trying to work out a schedule for Teddy and his wife to remember to take their medications on time. Though Paradiso is known as one of the first naughty cafes in Jerusalem (bacon and prosciutto figure prominently on the menu), none of the Kollek clan ate anything sacrilegious but rather stuck to staples like beef kabobs and potato gnocchi. For a man of 95, Teddy is quite spritely, god bless him. He wore a weathered seersucker blazer and she a printed polyester dress circa 1976. In conclusion, they were super cute and I was honored to share rustic seating space with a living legend of modern Jerusalem history.

Women's Mini-Triathlon

A week ago I found myself staring out into the beautiful Mediterranean Sea thinking "Yay! A women's triathlon! Girl Power! This is gonna be great!"
Two minutes later as I flapped about in the rough salty waters and was kicked by every be-capped female triathlete in Israel my thoughts quickly changed to "This is it. I'm not gonna make it. They're going to have to rescue me in their special rescue-kayaks and I'm going to be the laughing stock of the triath-community." Luckily my Darwinian impulses kicked in and I was able to make to the Herzeliya shore doing the backstroke ( I know, an illegal stroke for a triathlon, but come on, I was dying out there). I made it to dry land just behind a one-legged competitor and a few post-menopausal women, but hey it's all about girl power, right?
After that, the rest of the competition was a breeze. The bike ride was pleasant and the run sufferable but ultimately doable. The best was finishing with my friend Tali, hand in hand, and I'd do it again, any day. Just not today, ok.

Mini-Israel is Mega Fun

 

Tennis Center @ Teddy Stadium

A little-known gem in Jerusalem is the Merkaz Tennis next to Teddy Stadium (named for former Jerusalem mayor Teddy Kolleck). The day I was there also happened to be a tournament for wheelchair-bound players. A fun time was had by all.

Jerusalem Cinemateque Film Archives

 

Internships Are For Suckers

Anya Kamenetz has an interesting op-ed in the NYTimes about the pitfalls of unpaid internships - both for the economy and the educated upper-middle class young'uns who often make up this corps of privileged intellectual sweatshop workers. She points out that this tradition insidiously undermines our "information economy" whereby only those who have the resources can afford to work for free getting coffee for Prada-wearing devils, for example.

There may be more subtle effects as well. In an information economy, productivity is based on the best people finding the jobs best suited for their talents, and interns interfere with this cultural capitalism. They fly in the face of meritocracy — you must be rich enough to work without pay to get your foot in the door. And they enhance the power of social connections over ability to match people with desirable careers. A 2004 study of business graduates at a large mid-Atlantic university found that the completion of an internship helped people find jobs faster but didn't increase their confidence that those jobs were a good fit.

This was a problem I encountered back when I was a bright-eyed collegiate, hoping that working for little to no money was a surefire way to get a job at the magazine/television network/corporate company of choice. Except I only took internships that offered at least SOME pay, meager though it was. But I had friends who worked on movie sets, for politicians, at art galleries, etc. for absolutely nothing. And many of them never saw the fruits of their labor, in the form of an actual paid position, or even by gaining viable work experience. I felt then, as I do now, that New York is a big culprit in this deception. Many undergrads flock to the city for the summertime internship at HBO/Conde Naste/Marketing/Finance and feel that the glory of living in Manhattan is enough to get on the fast track to success.

But if Kamenetz is correct, and these internships reinforce the "power of social connections" over merit, than won't the economy eventually purge itself of such a faulty system? Her conclusion is sensible - the only internships worth having are those that offer some sort of compensation, but that doesn't change the fact there will always be a line out the door of young co-eds waiting to work for Anna Wintour/Sumner Redstone/Ted Tuner for free.

Peace Tents in Jerusalem

In an effort to salvage the tense relationship between Israel and France, the two countries have teamed up to provide a month of well-intentioned, though misguided cultural programs. This included the largest fireworks display ever staged over the Tel-Aviv skies. Apparently it also resulted in the largest traffic jams ever on Tel-Aviv roads. And somehow no one could ignore the fact that all that effort and money went up literally in a cloud of smoke.
In Jerusalem I caught the Peace Tents at the Hass Promenade. Not too many people were perusing the tents when I happened to stop by. Composed by French artist Clara Halter the tents consists of the word "peace" written in 50 different languages. The overall effect is soothing, with the tents glowing in the Jerusalem evening but then you walk in and the tents are empty. A metaphor for peace itself? Or maybe she ran out of languages.

"Restobar" Moments

Sometimes you'll be sitting at a charming cafe in Jerusalem with a fat wifi connection and a way too stylish bathroom enjoying your delicious glass of Leffe and the people sitting behind you can not stop talking about Iraq and the war and Hamas and so on and so forth. Then you turn around and realize they are diplomats. And journalists. And that this country is the intersection of all the corners of the universe and everyone cares about the minute details of every event here. And everyone has an opinion. And they are always talking. Sometimes it really hits home.

Fun with Ehud Olmert

So I was at this wedding in Jerusalem and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert was there and so were these two attractive black men who were friends of the groom and all the Israelis thought they were either rap superstars or secret service agents. The man at the far right is Arkadi Gaidamak, Russian billionaire and owner of Jerusalem soccer team Beitar Yerushalyaim. Basically this man is every Jerusalem cab driver's idol. Hmm, I wonder what the two talked about that night....

Dispatches from the Holy Land

Dearest readers,
I been remiss as a blogger, I know, t'was only due to my recent travels in the Orient. Rest assured, I have plenty of stories of my adventures for you including (in no particular order): meeting Ehud Olmert, a flaming wedding cake, Lag B'Omer bonfires in Tzfat, hiking in the Golan Heights, and other such fantastical experiences of which pictures and descriptions will be forthcoming.

Pretty Plants @ the Bass

The Bass Museum is dabbling in Earth Art these days with this exquisite exhibit of wall plants. Who knew plastic cups and hooks could be so beautiful?

Mint Launch @ Big Fish

Miami's condo party circuit has been feeling a little lean these days. Gone are the days when fireworks and fashion shows heralded the opening of yet another posh sales center. No more Star Jones hosting mega-watt pseudo-red-carpet shindigs. These days it's the rare and lucky partygoer who gets to enjoy spectacle AND look at floorplans in the same sip of a mojito.


Then along comes Fortune Realty and rekindles that Miami optimism, that need to dress in white and enjoy a magnificent sunset, real estate pundits be damned. The organizers spared no expense when it came to this event. Heck, we were partying like it was 2004! There was a certain carefree ambiance to the whole affair, a caution-to-the-wind kind of sensibility that said "Condo bust? What real estate bubble?" There were caged dancers, top-shelf open bar, mountains of tuna tartar, heaps of bruschetta, trays of champagne flutes, and of course, Mint-branded mints.

The invitation stipulated white attire and Miamians, loyal patrons of the nightlife that they are, obliged wholeheartedly. Although the abundance of white clad constituents made everyone seem like they were Delano employees slagging off work. Plus, it was hard to scan for tray-bearing waiters, who God bless them, did an incredible job of pushing simultaneously strange (what were those soggy tortilla cups of mushroom spread?) and delicious nibbles on the increasingly gyrating crowd.

Unless you were a feather headressed dancer, in which case your dresscode specified "nude bodysuit." And then some.

Schwartz of the Month

Eytan Schwartz, the "Shagrir," winner of Israel's version of the Apprentice needs our help. Vote for him here as Heeb Magazine's Schwartz of the month. I'm not exactly sure what he gets if he wins, except for the adoration of Heeb readers, which if you consider it, may or may not be a compliment....Anyway, all it take is a click, so give a Schwartz a hand.

Persian Actresses: All Purpose Dark Hotties

The Forward interviews Persian Jewish actress Bahar Soomekh who'll be sharing the screen with Tom "cray-cray" Cruise this summer in Mission Impossible III. A perusal of her credits on imdb.com also reveals that she had a bit part in last year's "24" which also starred another fantastic Persian actress (though not Jewish, I think) Shoreh Aghdashloo who blew me away with her portrayal of a Persian mother in House of Sand and Fog (though apparently the academy felt that Rene Zellweger's anorexic pouting deserved the award more that year!). Anyhoo...this concludes our game Six Degrees of Persian Actresses.

Whole Foods, Eat your Heart Out

Gardening isn't really my thing. Except when tomatoes cost over $2/pound. Then I'm all green thumbs. Here are some of my own 100% organic non-genetically modified yet disconcertingly large tomatoes. Makes me wonder about what's in Miami Beach water.....

Aventura Magazine Rocks Sushi House

A strip mall is not normally where you'd find a rollicking, well-dressed, sunset soiree. Unless of course you live in South Florida in which case a strip mall constitutes 70% of most locations.

Last week Aventura Magazine welcomed new hotshot on the Biscayne block Sushi House for a grand opening smorgasboard to rival any Bar Mitzvah. The free drinks were flowing, and the sushi chefs could not make their fancy tempura/jalpeno/spicy octopus concoctions fast enough for this wily crowd. There was much feasting on tuna tartare on tortilla chips, ceviche, and seaweed salad galore.
The crowd was...mixed. There were trendy young professionals with cute dresses and fun haircuts and then there was the geriatric Williams Island crowd. Except these people must be the crazy rich types who tear napkins in half to make the stack last longer because they were chowing that free tempura like there was no tomorrow.

The Sushi House aims high, though. With decor that harkens the early days of the Delano (white curtains and lucite chandeliers, anyone?) and a long sleek marble bar running through the middle of the spacious room, this place may become the Ivy's only competition in Aventura for the legions of young professionals that live there and prefer not to drive 10 miles for dining in stylish surroundings.


This pic says it all - notice the dude on the left. Yeah, he likey his red winey.